


ghost from your past

by imetyouinthesummer



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Mpreg, M/M, dont get confused, enjoy the ride gays, every chapter will end with a flashback from taeyong's past life, god of fate mark lee, god of fate's vessel lee donghyuck, loosely based on goblin: the great and lonely god, lowercase intended, major angst, stubborn taeyong, the real jaeyong is a bundle of fluff it makes it hard to write angst, tsundere jaehyun who suffers inside
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25711381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imetyouinthesummer/pseuds/imetyouinthesummer
Summary: "there is only one person who can break this curse. find him, goblin. his time is running out."it immediately took him back to when it all began. the curve of a beautiful smile, the familiar sound of laughter and the twinkling eyes flashed through his head. his soul yearned for what it had tasted once and he desired them all back. oh, if only it was easier.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	1. if we ever meet again

it was raining heavily outside. the pitter-patter of the raindrops was like a lullaby, accompanied by occasional claps of thunder. despite the weather, the moon still hung beautifully up in the inky black sky, with only a part of it hidden behind the grey clouds. such an anomaly, however, was left unappreciated by most of those who dwelled the earth as they had fallen asleep.

jaehyun was unlike them as he was wide awake, standing at the end of his bed with his eyes fixed on the moon outside of the window. a bright strobe of light was reflected on the black of his eyes as the lightning struck but he never blinked.

his heart thumped loud and fast against the ribcage as if anticipating an event. true enough, a second after, he clasped on his chest and was rendered gasping for air. cold sweats ran down his temples, glistening under the moonlight. he knew it would come, but the knowledge never made going through the sudden attack of pain any easier.  
  
the pain always came when the moon above was full and shining brightly against the dark blanket of night. the lightning would be accompanying the rain, cursing him with excruciating pain as it struck the ground beneath and no matter what he did or where he hid, the pain would find him.

tonight was one of them. he held on white knuckles to one of the bed posters in an unfruitful attempt to relieve the burning pain. another lightning strike causing him to exhale sharply and fell on his knees. at times like this, he got reminded that his immortality meant nothing but a prolonged curse.

then, a green glow emanated, from where a scar on his breast was still fresh, angry-looking yet invisible to mortals' eyes. the particles swirled in the air until finally, a sword took its form right before his eyes. it radiated dark, devilish energy, true to its origin.

he was disgusted with it and the betrayal it represented. he wanted it out. nothing could compare to the hatred he had for the weapon embedded through his chest. nothing. he would rather die than having to see it for another time but that was the catch. he could not die. his vessel stayed forever young, untouched by the centuries, forcing him to watch the people he loved died repeatedly.

he was stuck in the cycle until the god of fate decided to release him. meanwhile, the god of fate was a mysterious being, who probably only watched him and gleefully wished him would enjoy the ride. he did not ask to be immortalised, did not want the everlasting memory and the loop of emotional torture that came along.

as the agony got more unbearable, he mustered a little bit of courage and palmed the hilt and pulled hard. the lightning struck angrily once again and the thunder shook the earth in a dire warning.

_don’t trick the god of fate, goblin. he knows. his eyes are watching you._

"don't- tell me- what- to do!" he half yelled to the otherwise empty room, using up the energy he had left. his mind was too occupied with _pain, pain, pain_ and fury to notice a monarch butterfly had fluttered in out of nowhere.

"what a pity," a familiar voice startled him and he looked up.

there, at the door, was donghyuck, the only descendant of the goblin's faithful servant, yet the younger was oblivious to the fact. he was raised as jaehyun's nephew and like the ones before him, he too would only gain the knowledge of his true identity as he realized that jaehyun did not age past twenty.

jaehyun knew the younger as if he was his own flesh and blood and noticed something peculiar about him. donghyuck was radiating an entirely different kind of aura. a powerful, godly aura that he had once encountered and jaehyun's stomach dropped.

"you could have ended this long ago. oh, don’t give me that look, goblin."

not-donghyuck proceeded to walk closer and kneeled before him. despite the intimidating air around him, his touch on jaehyun's arm was nothing short of gentle. his round eyes were unreadable as they were caught on the devilish sword, paying it an indefinite amount of interest.

"there is only one person who can break this curse. find him, goblin. his time is running out."

it immediately took him back to when it all began. the curve of a beautiful smile, the familiar sound of laughter and the twinkling eyes flashed through his head. his soul yearned for what it had tasted once and he desired them all back. oh, if only it was easier.

however, "no, i won't," because he would rather die than see him again.

not-donghyuck sighed and if jaehyun was observant enough, he could see the barely hidden frustration in the other's eyes, like this was personal to him.

"there would be no next life for him after this. let him fulfil his destiny so both of you will be free," he stood up straight and brushed the invisible dust off his pants.

instantaneously, the pain seeped out of jaehyun's system, nowhere to be found and the storm outside stopped. relief flooded through him until the other opened his mouth again.

"you put the unbreakable curse on him, tying his fate to your own, making him the goblin's bride. you have to finish what you have started, goblin," he grimly said as he looked down at jaehyun.

as soon as he closed his mouth, his body fell like a ragdoll and by luck, jaehyun caught him before he hit the floor. through the tail of his eyes, he saw a butterfly flew out of the door. soon after, the green glow died out and the ghoulish sword disappeared.

he was only aware of the warmth the other brought into the room when he trembled at the sudden drop of temperature. the realization immediately dawned upon him, he had seen that butterfly once upon a time and he was none other than the god of fate appearing in his chosen human's vessel. donghyuck's body.

on the other side of the world, six thousand miles away from america, lived the said goblin's bride. if only he could hear the spirits talking, he would know that he had been an obsession among them. he was special but he remained oblivious of the fact and the tragic history that followed him like a wine stain on his shirt. they were waiting, betting on either the goblin would abandon him as he did in many lifetimes before or would he take this mortal and claim him as he should.

what his mind forgot; his soul recognised. deep down in his heart, he longed for another soul, who swept him off his feet, who worshipped his every part and embraced his imperfections like they were his own. his heart had been singing the yearning song for lives but his mind could not see what it did not understand. he was as good as blind when it came to that.

three years ago, on his eighteenth birthday eve, he had a peculiar dream. a silhouette stood in the middle of a blooming yellow flower field. he was facing the sun above, letting the sun rays bathed him in the morning light. then, he shifted his gaze to him, giving him the tenderest smile he had ever seen. the taller's crescent eyes were filled with adoration and his cheeks formed two deep crevices, making his heart throbbed in a way he could not fathom.

if he did not know any better, he would have fallen in love with the stranger in the dream and wondered how insane that would be.

strangely, despite the vividness, the memory slipped away as soon as he woke up, leaving him confused. the dream never came again and he decided that it was just fantasy. if only the spirits that followed him could talk, they would tell him that it was the early signs of his soul reawakening, that the goblin and his bride shall reunite, that he suffered greatly through multiple lifetimes before he became lee taeyong.

* * *

it was in the middle of september when their paths crossed for the first time. the weather was crisp and cool, and the foliage had turned beautiful shades of gold. everybody armed themselves with thicker clothes against the cold, including the mighty goblin. he had a burberry cashmere coat on top of a plain black shirt and a pair of jeans for the day. his sharp and handsome look turned heads, but he no longer craved for that kind of attention. by any chance, he could be their long lost great, great grandfather unknowingly.

jaehyun had not set foot on korean soil for centuries as it brought back too many happy and painful memories. now, as he stood admiring the scenery of gwanak district in seoul, the stark difference between the two eras was overwhelming. it was as if the downfall of his kingdom just happened yesterday. if he closed his eyes, he could still see hear the noises in the market, the giggles from children playing in the streets and the sound of the gayageum reverberated in the throne hall. he could still recall his eunuch’s scolding every time he sneaked out of the palace to isolate himself in a bookstore.

he promised not to let it get to him. it seemed like he failed. looking around, he no longer recognised the place and even the air did not smell the same anymore. who was he kidding, there were centuries gap between him and the modern country. there was no use in reminiscing what was in the past.

today was supposed to be donghyuck's registration day. his nephew was so adamant on going to seoul national university to "come back to his root". he was more intelligent than his peers, but they chalked it up as to him being an asian. if only he knew that his root was more than the race he was born into. there must be something extraordinary in his blood for the god of fate to choose his body as his vessel. however, the fact should never come to light and much to his relief, the deity had not reappeared ever since months ago. he wanted him to have a normal life, something he could not have.

they unpacked donghyuck’s things and cleaned up the room until the evening. he truly was going to miss donghyuck’s daily dose of complaint about school and his former part-time job. the orientation would start soon and guardians were not allowed to be inside the residency.

“i’ll be fine, don’t miss me too much. you’re embarrassing me,” the younger joked as he ironically tightened his arms around jaehyun’s torso. the older was like a father to him as he was orphaned at a very young age. jaehyun was all he had but now he had to spread his wings.

“i know, i know. you grow up too fast,” he replied softly and ruffled the younger’s ash-blond mane.

his heart clenched as he waved his nephew goodbye and took the elevator down. he wondered if that was what every parent must go through when their children hit the coming of age.

it was raining lightly outside and he immediately got this weird feeling in his gut. he always had that kind of feeling when the soft, percussive sounds reach his eardrums, the anticipatory anxiety running through his veins like poisons. ignoring it, he made his way through the lobby to the exit and there, as the automatic door opened, his pulse jumped. perhaps he should have listened to his gut.

a few feet away from him stood the person who once stole his heart and mercilessly betrayed him. he was familiar, jaehyun knew his soul as much he knew his own, but he felt like a stranger all the same. the smaller's whole being was forever etched in his brain. the calluses on the tip of his fingers, his contrastingly lovely voice, and his hidden bright persona behind the strong, assertive exterior.

he remembered it all too well but was this version similar? it was his soul standing in front of him, but at the same time, he was different in so many ways. they were eyes to eyes and jaehyun's heart sang. he had not seen that graceful face for ages and now, as he thought about it, it took everything in him to hold himself back from reaching out. in each of the smaller's lifetime, jaehyun deserted him as he let himself drown in the rage and sorrow. but at that moment, as they were face to face, those feelings meant so little.

it was overwhelming how much he wanted to shake his shoulders and screamed at him in anger but at the same time felt the urge to embrace and kiss him breathless.

a hint of confusion set in the smaller's eyes but before jaehyun could pull himself together and put some distance between them, turned out that the god of fate had another plan for him. the full moon had yet to reappear and the signs of warning were nowhere to be found yet the sting in his chest told him otherwise. he would never get used it, the phantom feeling of a sharp weapon stabbing through the pumping heart and blood leaking out from the chambers into the thoracic cavity. his chest rose and fell, as he tried to regulate his breathing pattern and staggered on his feet to the outside.

"excuse me, sir, are you okay?" a voice hesitantly asked from behind and jaehyun almost cried at how much he missed and hated the sound simultaneously.

"sir, wait, please!" the voice demanded.

then, a hand firmly grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. jaehyun was rendered speechless, having to face the smaller when he was not even ready. they were both caught in the rain that already poured heavily and jaehyun could not help from thinking that he was ethereal despite the ruined hairdo and pale lips.

_please, don’t say it. once you see it, there is no turning back._

"you're hurt," he stated while scanning jaehyun's figure frantically, looking for any other signs of injuries.

"wait, i'll get some h-"

"get off me," he spat and harshly slapped the hands off him.

"stay still! you are stabbed!" the smaller explained in panic as he pointed to the ghostly weapon embedded in his thorax.

right then and there, jaehyun’s stomach dropped and chills spread through his body. the spirits sang gleefully around him, _their love resurrects, the stars realign_ as if both of them would reunite and live happily ever after. well, they would see if the stars would realign if he made the smaller, who was as good as a stranger in this life, pull the sword out right away. no reconciliation, no love lost.

“pull it out,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

the smaller was dumbfounded and his eyes widened a fraction before he half-yelled, “are you insane? everyone and their mother knows not to do that. you would bleed to death.”

the goblin was impatient. he reached for the smaller's hands and put them on the hilt of the sword. the smaller's initial response was to resist, but his strength was no match for the immortal. as soon as his skin made contact with the cursed weapon, his eyes glowed a bright shade of green and he let out a blood-curling scream. as the pain jaehyun felt lessened, the ache in the smaller’s body was increasingly wrecking him, as if his bones were breaking one by one.

_don’t trick the god of fate, goblin. he knows._

that voice resonated in his head again, giving him a warning against his aggression towards the mortal. as the reality of what he had done dawned upon him, he let go of the smaller’s hands, and the waves of painful sensation crashed back right into his system. blackness seeped right from the periphery of his vision and felt himself tumbling down.

the last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a face with high cheekbones glaring at him, a face so clear amid blurry faces of a newly formed crowd, judging his action. the weight of the smaller's body fell on top of him and then, the darkness took over.

he was the first to wake up between the two of them. looking around, he realized that he was hospitalised. to his horror - although he would rather eat dirt than admit the fact that he could get scared - donghyuck was sitting with his back ramrod straight beside him. the familiar imposing aura was surrounding him, accompanying the glare he was giving him and jaehyun immediately noticed the butterfly on his right shoulder.

"you are one despicable goblin."

he deserved it.

"i didn’t mean to hurt him." he did not know who he was trying to convince. between the two of them, the god of fate was the wiser.

"oh, you did, goblin. breaking the curse takes more than just his two hands, you are aware of this."

"you know that i don’t want anything to do with him anymore. it not easy to forgive him," he replied as he voice went an octave lower.

the silence that engulfed them was filled with tension as their eyes battled for the upper hand and for a second, jaehyun thought the god of fate would annihilate him on the spot until his gaze softened. then, he sighed in surrender.

"i do," he murmured and squeezed his arm in an almost childish way of consolation. the fatherly feelings he had for donghyuck bled through and he could not stay mad when the god of fate also seemed to be helpless against the turn of event.

"he can only pull the sword out when the right time comes. forcing it to happen will only cause more damage than good."

the god of fate residing in donghyuck’s vessel proceeded to get up from the plastic chair and went to the door. there was a question that had been nagging in the back of jaehyun's mind, so before the god of fate could disappear, he had to know.

"aren’t you supposed to be impartial towards a mere mortal?"

the god of fate gave him a soft smile that looked more sad than happy. but the tenderness in his eyes could never be mistaken as anything other than love.

"if things go in the right direction, you will know.”

the god of fate spoke in riddles sometimes that it confused him, so he asked again, "do you have a name?"

his eyes shone bright, "i did. my name was lee minhyung.”

* * *

_the sky was crying, mourning for the people's loss and sorrow. the children were taken away from their parents, siblings separated from one another and friends lost each other. the women were caught and 'given' as gifts for the neighbouring kingdom while men became slaves for the rich. their houses were burned, only for the purpose of evicting the people from their only property. it was pure hell._

_"stay here and hide," said a woman in a peasant clothing to his son, as she put him inside earthenware fit for a seven-year-old boy. he nodded quickly, understanding the dire situation they were in before the mother put the lid back on, desperately needing his only son to be safe and alive._

_"don't come out no matter what. you hear me, daeryung?" she whispered against the clay vessel but not waiting for a reply as she ran somewhere else._

_the house was eerily quiet in the dead of the night until the scuffles of footsteps were heard from across the tiny space. the boy, daeryung, put his hands on his mouth in an attempt to muffle his crying. he was scared and his body shuddered in complete terror of what could happen to both his mother and him. where was she? was she safe?_

_"find them!" a masculine voice yelled in anger, frustrated that the peasants tried to outsmart them._

_please save me, he begged to no one in particular as he hugged himself tighter. however, the footsteps were getting nearer and he wondered if his mother was still safely hidden somewhere. his heart was beating faster and his lungs struggled to get a gulp of air but it was nothing compared to being a slave for the rest of his life._

_then, the lid above him was taken off and cold air mixed with smokes rushed into his lungs. he was caught off guard as the man in a black hanbok grabbed him by his collar and pulled him out with ease, making him breathed the polluted air into his system._

_"please, mister, i didn't do anything wrong. please let me go! please!"_


	2. strangers no more

jaehyun was discharged as soon as the doctor decided that he was without any underlying illness. they were stressed on finding the cause of the syncopal attack, jaehyun almost pitied them but he could not go around exposing his true nature, right? so, the best thing he could do was to cooperate and let them squeeze the money out of his pocket. it was not a problem, he got heaps of gold in the dungeon.

donghyuck was worried sick for him and refused to leave his side even though he explained multiple times that he was in fact okay.

“you don’t get to die on me, uncle. you’re the only one i have. what would i do without you?” the younger said while hugging his arm.

although the younger had grown up - his height could match jaehyun these days and he would continue to grow upwards – he still kept his childishness especially around the older. he wished he could tell donghyuck how much better his life could be without him in the picture. he could probably be living a happy life with his parents, be a normal teenager instead of this lie. he resented himself for it.

it was inevitable; his parents’ deaths. a goblin’s servant was meant to devote their entire life to the master. they were not meant to irrevocably love another being or get married. procreation was done only to make sure the line of their descendants did not stop until the goblin’s curse was broken. donghyuck’s mother broke all the rules by falling in love with a man, resulting in the couple’s untimely death. the goblin did not desire any of this if it meant a long but lonely life for the servant, but his hands were tied in this matter.

after donghyuck left, which required a lot of convincing from his side, he gazed at the scenery outside. the city was alive even under pouring rain. he remembered that back in the days, the people would run inside to avoid getting drenched and sick due to the cold. they got ill easily, without proper medical care and vaccination. today those things were necessities, back the former was a luxury that only the rich could afford. vaccines were not invented yet. the royal family had always turned blind eyes towards the poor villagers, leaving their fates to damnation.

ah, this place brought too much pain. he could have just stayed in america and never came back. but he did. he had no good reason why, but he did. perhaps the goblin’s bride’s soul was calling for him. the spirits were singing again in the background, telling him to claim him, never leave him again, to forgive and let live. he would say that they were fools. no one forgave their murderer.

he had no idea how he arrived in front of the smaller’s room, but he did. his palm was on the door panel, sliding it open in an instant. he saw the smaller’s figure lied on the bed, half of it hidden by the thick, white blanket. he was peacefully asleep as if nothing could hurt him in his unconscious state. jaehyun’s eyes slowly travelled from the dark brown hair to his long lashes, straight nose, the slight blemishes on his otherwise perfect skin and lastly, to his thin lips. the memories of kissing those petals breathless flashed through his mind uninvited.

something in his heart compelled him to sit on the chair by the bed, to bask in the smaller’s presence while he could without being called a weirdo. once upon a time, he would kill just to have those round eyes on him, to give him a time of his day. the initial feeling was an innocent crush, eventually morphed into a dark obsession. the beauty was an enigma. he was graceful, yet rough. he kept many people by his side yet trusted only a few. jaehyun was so enamoured that he chose to be blind.

the fact that the person in front him did not remember his crime left him bitter. the smaller was given the undeserving tea of forgetfulness so he could happily live a new life while he had to face centuries of loneliness and torturous pain. the goblin was granted immortality after ten years after his death, his body did not rot under the changing seasons, left unburied in the middle of a field. his people turned against him and damned his disgraced body with the sword impaled through his chest, like the way he had chosen to abandon them when he still had the heaven’s mandate.

the twitch of the smaller’s finger pulled him out of his thoughts. his eyebrows furrowed in a way of indicating an incoming headache and a groan between those lips broke the silence in the room. jaehyun’s pulse quickened in anticipation. would the smaller see the ghostly sword again once he opens his eyes or would he straight away chases him out and never wanting to see such a creep ever again?

the latter would be the easiest option because no matter how deep his feelings were for this lost soul, he could not forgive him.

the scene seemed to play out in slow motion in his eyes as the smaller woke up with a jolt in his limbs, his eyes wide opened with chest rising and falling briskly. he looked so confused as if his subconsciousness had travelled aeons and snapped back to the beginning of time. his eyes were boring a hole in the ceiling, still not aware of another presence in the room. jaehyun almost wanted to comfort him, to stroke his cheek and smooth out the damp hair plastered on his temples.

the smaller laid there, catching his breath like he had deprived of it for quite some time before he shifted his gaze to the window and watched the crescent moon behind a screen full of rain droplets. the sight anchored him, pulling him back into the current reality and he cried silently, mourning for something he was not able to name.

the goblin could not stand the growing sympathy in his heart at the accidental display of weakness. once in lifetimes ago, those two deep pools never shed a tear because nothing could touch his heart or make him weak. but what he just witnessed seemed to challenge the images he had superimposed on the smaller.

“you’re awake,” he croaked, trying to get the smaller’s attention, and asked, “how are you feeling?”

the smaller was startled as soon as the deep, velvety voice reached his eardrums, pulling him into a sitting position as he scooted backwards until his spine met the head of the bed with a dull thump. his teary eyes widened a fraction as he cast a frightful look into his direction. the goblin smirked.

yes, he should be afraid of him.

“horrible,” the smaller answered, voice shaking.

the goblin hummed in acknowledgement. he saw the smaller’s eyes transfixed on where the sword should be. he must have remembered the incident before the darkness took them both. he wondered if the smaller remembered the bone-crushing pain as he touched the sword. he wished he could ask but did not dare open the pandora’s box.

“where is the damn thing?” the smaller asked in return as he lifted his gaze to jaehyun’s, searching for honesty that the taller would not give.

“it’s out, thanks to the doctor, turns out to be just a knife. does that answer your question?”

lying was easy for him. he did it every day, to himself, to donghyuck and everyone else. why should this person get any different treatment?

the smaller seemed more disturbed and shook his head repeatedly as if shaking an intrusive thought out of his brain. for once, someone was finally immune to his spell, rejecting the twisted truth without any consideration. it was useless against the goblin’s bride.

“i know what i saw and that thing isn’t just a knife. it whispered things to me as i touched it, making me see things i don’t recognize, hear voices i don’t fricking understand.”

 _shit_ , was making contact with the sword awaken his senses or was it just temporary collateral damage? he needed to know. he could never live with the guilt of hurting a mortal to insanity, goblin’s bride or not.

“what about now? can you still see or hear things?” he inquired.

“are you telling me that im crazy? it isn’t like that. by seeing things i meant fragments of broken images rushing through my mind. voices were calling for me, telling me things that i don’t understand, singing about unity and some bullshit.”

jaehyun noted the way the smaller explained everything in the past tense and was relieved.

“why are you telling me this?”

the smaller gave him an unreadable look before biting his lower lip in contemplation.

“because, as stupid as it sounds, i saw you in my head.”

jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat. he felt the panic set in and had the urge to run away. there was no way. he had been fine on his own, all these years without this person turning life upside down like he once did. so, he got up instantly, creating space between the two of them, where he could feel safe again.

however, a hand encircling his wrist stopped him. he wondered if the smaller felt his pulse jumped at the electrifying touch. he did not slap it away.

taking the silence as a cue to continue, the smaller said, “i think i know who you are.”

that caught the goblin’s attention and he turned around, facing the smaller. he invaded his space and grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to intimidate the smaller from saying any more. strangely, the smaller seemed to have some courage plucked out of nowhere as he stared into his eyes, no longer afraid.

“the voices told me we are fated. they called you goblin, the great and lonely god and i am your bride.”

the spirits sang once again, filling the space between the two separated realms with their shrilly voices. however, for the smaller, the silence stretched in this reality, with only the sound of his heartbeat, as quick as the steps of a horse on a battlefield.

“im a nobody and you will forget about me,” the goblin said the spell out loud before releasing the smaller, hoping the effect would take place. he did not wait and made his way to the door in a few strides.

“jae- sir, don’t leave,” the smaller pleaded. he did not understand the ache in his chest as the distance between them stretched but he knew the taller had all the answers he needed.

jaehyun did not even hesitate from disappearing to the other side of the door.

* * *

half a year went by uneventful. things were good again in america, with no familiar face to bother him and no god of fate to scold him for not doing whatever he should “to break the curse”. for the love of the almighty, he could hear the way the deity speaks in donghyuck’s voice and it annoyed him so. thankfully, donghyuck was in seoul and the god of fate or lee minhyung or whoever he was could not reach him without having to fly the younger across the globe.

however, he worked hard. as of right now, jaehyun was already on board to leave for south korea once again. the asian representative for his multinational banking company was involved in a fatal accident. the old man was gratefully yet barely alive, admitted in the intensive care unit as his position was resumed by the second in command. jaehyun was there as a formality to ensure a smooth transition.

donghyuck was ecstatic by the news, saying that this was a good time for them to move permanently to the land of their origin. he managed to decline after a long, back-and-forth arguing about how illogical the idea was. besides, he could always travel through whatever door he opened, whenever he wanted. he made a mental note to avoid coming to the younger’s residency. the spell might not work on the goblin’s bride the last time and he could not afford to face him again. 

as soon as he arrived at the airport, he reached out to donghyuck for dinner. his driver hauled the luggage into the back of the car to the penthouse as he took the second car to meet his beloved nephew. his assistant was already dismissed to get a full night’s rest because tomorrow was going to kill them emotionally. the address the younger sent brought him to a humble restaurant located at the edge of the city, where the people went in earlier and the road had fewer cars.

donghyuck was friendlier than he was, so it came as no surprise that he managed to get some close friends in just a few months' stay in the country he had never been to before. his hangul was no longer heavily accented as it used to as he chatted animatedly with a redhead beside him. it took him a few minutes to notice jaehyun’s arrival at the entrance.

“uncle! here,” the younger high-pitched voice pierced through other customer’s noises. he gladfully joined them at the table. the younger stood up to greet him with a tight hug which he reciprocated just the same.

“i brought a friend. i know that this is supposed to be just between us family members, but he is like a brother to me and i want both of you to get to know each other,” he explained very quickly, as if afraid of his uncle’s disapproval. jaehyun would not. in fact, he was delighted at the thought of donghyuck managing to be independent.

but the sight of familiar, beautiful face made his blood run cold. sitting there, all unbothered and poised, was the goblin’s bride. their eyes met and the smaller smiled politely, so detached from the altercation they had six months ago in the hospital room. now that they were face to face after so long, he could not help but drink in the sight of him. how was it possible that the smaller got more stunning as time passed by?

“nice to meet you, sir. i’m lee taeyong. i heard a lot about you,” the smaller introduced as he held out a hand for a shake.

jaehyun did not want to be rude in front of his nephew so he took it. he did not miss the way the smaller tightened his grip on his hand, almost threatening in nature but subtle enough to be noticed by anyone else. if the smaller, which went by the name taeyong in this life, remembered, he must be an excellent actor. good. he only had to play along and they could go back to being strangers after the dinner.

he took off his jacket and put it on his chair across donghyuck’s as the younger shouted an order to the waitress. he was reminded of the time when the court ladies used to serve his meals. the mealtime was never late or earlier than usual, served meticulously without a smudge on the side of the plates. he did not appreciate palace food at the time, but now as he looked back, he missed the taste. he wondered what happened to them and the eunuchs after his majesty king gongyang was dethroned by his most trusted general.

“taeyong hyung is a final-year in the business school. i told him to apply for an internship in your company but who am i kidding, he already has another plan in mind,” the younger added, trying to break the ice. he hoped it was smooth enough. jaehyun smiled amiably.

“where would that be, if i may ask?” his shifted his gaze to the said person, his heart secretly swelling in pride as the smaller’s eyes were already studying him.

“leesung financial group. my father is resolute in having me under his tutelage, especially since i am the only son he has. my sister isn’t interested in the corporate world,” explained the smaller with a self-pride that could challenge the goblin’s.

meanwhile, jaehyun almost rolled his eyes at the mention of his rival. it was laughable that in both lifetimes they met, they were always on the opposite sides. back then, he was the general’s son who had a major hand in the dethronement, and in this life, he was his business rival’s son. his father would pop a vessel if jaehyun ever brought the smaller to his side. that would be an interesting event to see.

they did not realize the intense staring match they were having until donghyuck awkwardly excused himself to the washroom.

“so, donghyuck’s _uncle_ , aren’t you looking too young to be one?” taeyong’s question broke the eternal silence between them. he was taunting the taller, trying to push his limit, for a reason he could not fathom.

the spell did not work, the fact was pretty obvious. the air around them changed instantly after the younger left them together, the agreeableness evaporated, leaving them ice-cold. he wished he could get up and go home, but he could not leave donghyuck clueless like that.

“what a deliberate coincidence, _mr lee_. i must say that your trick is pretty neat, befriending my nephew to get under my skin. should i applaud you for the entire world to see?” he hissed, no longer caring if anyone could overhear them.

“i hope you wash your mouth before getting here, _mr goblin_ because that’s a load of rubbish coming out,” spat the smaller with as much fire.

if there was no one else, he could have his hand around the taller’s neck and the rest would become history. the grip jaehyun had on his wrist caught him by surprise but he masked it under layers of disappointment and anger.

“you have no right-“

“you left me. you put those fucked-up, second-hand memories into my head and abandoned me. do you expect me to be happy seeing you again?”

“you think i wish for this to happen?” it did not escape jaehyun that taeyong already had seen himself as the goblin’s bride and he had no idea if he should be scared or proud of the fact.

“i almost went insane. the voices won’t shut up unless when i’m with you, so you need to take responsibility for damaging me.”

there was a hint of dread in the smaller’s eyes as he spoke as if the voices had told him things he could not stomach, things that made him lose his sleep. he wondered if they told him about his dark past lives or just messing around with their usual twisted humour. the spirits whispered among themselves behind him, saying things along the lines _delicate flower_ and _claim the bride_. they must have been perverts back then.

“you’re stuck with me either way. they told me how to make you appear instantly in the flesh,” the smaller added when he stayed silent and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. his stomach dropped, he hated it when someone used it against him, like one of donghyuck’s great grandfather did.

“don’t you dare-“

“hey, what did i miss?” donghyuck was back. he had almost forgotten about the younger. he came here for the younger but taeyong seemed to take over his attention instead.

“nothing, hyuck. your uncle just remembered that we were both hospitalized at the same time a few months ago.” if jaehyun was a liar, then taeyong was a professional one. he did it so convincingly with his big innocent eyes, looking as if he would not hurt a fly.

“ah, that’s how i knew taeyong hyung. i heard some hush-hush about it and looked for him. do you how difficult it was? he was basically invisible,” donghyuck rambled while stuffing some kimchi into his mouth, not realizing the way taeyong glared at his beloved uncle was nothing sort of friendly.

* * *

_he was sixteen, holding out a real sword in his palm. the weight felt right as if it was just an extension of his arm. as if he was born to wield it, charging into a battlefield like his father. everybody could foresee it, they recognized pure vigour in the young man as he parried with the general in the courtyard._

_the older closed in on him, firmly holding his sword over his torso. daeryung circled away from him, continually changing his guard and stance. the older saw an opening and charge upon him but daeryung was as sharp as he was, countered by raising his sword high and striking horizontally. before the sword could graze his father’s cheek, the elder moved his sword in a twisting motion, turning daeryung’s end of the sword against the thudding pulse on his neck._

_“weakling. a son of lee should never have an ounce of weakness in his bones,” his father spat after retracting his own and sheathed it. his eyes were dulled by unfulfillment. he set a bar too high for the younger to achieve but he was an ambitious man. attempting the impossible was in his nature._

_daeryung should not take it to the heart, but he could not help the bitterness that slowly crawled in. the fact that he did not belong in the house of lee was known by many. he felt like an impostor, taken by the general when he was found fatally wounded after running away from the slave camp. he was a sickly child, his figure stick-thin and face gaunt. it only took one look for the older to decide to bring him into the household to be raised like his own flesh and blood. the reason behind the decision was still a mystery to him._

_although no one dared to talk about it out loud, there were whispers in the household, saying that he was a bastard child born out of his carelessness with a woman of a lower status. some said that he was brought in because his doe eyes reminded him of a lover from a neighbouring kingdom whom he had to part from. daeryung knew they were not true. his mother was just a lowly peasant who lived in a deserted village up north and his father was a peddler who died when she was pregnant with him._

_despite the abundance of wealth, the house missed one thing he craved the most; love. an outsider would have expected an aristocrat’s son to be pampered head to toe, but that was not the reality in house of lee. he was raised with three stepbrothers - the eldest was like a wolf trapped underneath a human skin, the middle full of envy and the youngest was too little to understand between good and bad. the two eldest and he were trained as soldiers, day and night, until a sword was no longer just a weapon and spilt blood no longer scared them._

_“a son of a lee should never lose in battle,” the older scolded as he gripped his bony shoulders, forcing his words into the younger’s brain. his father always repeated the same things; the lee’s never this, the lee’s never that. he felt like the black sheep of the family._

_“i’m trying father, i have done my best,” he rebuked with a barely hidden anger. he wanted to scream that this wasn’t who he was, he wasn’t a fighter._

_“your best is not good enough!”_

_daeryung blood ran cold. they said, be careful of what you wished for. he used to want to be rich enough to live a comfortable life. now,_ _he could not help but think that all this luxury was a curse in disguise._

_“again,” his father said as he positioned himself a few feet away, in his initial position, before continuing, “if you have me defeated this round, i’ll grant you a wish.”_

_“don’t go back on your words, father.”_

_the older smirked and said, “i promise.”_


	3. take me back to the start

the song playing on the radio was one of the hits of all time, everybody got the lyrics tattooed on the mind, but jaehyun paid his sole attention to the road – or at least he tried to. sometimes, his ears caught a soft voice singing along, a reminder for the presence of another passenger at the backseat.

taeyong’s car suspiciously had broken down back at the restaurant, so being a good person that he was, he offered to send them back to the campus. donghyuck had already fallen into a deep slumber at the passenger seat. not even a skid could wake him. that left jaehyun and the source of his problem together in the car. the air was thick, suffocating him in every way he never thought was possible. the argument they had over dinner still rubbed him the wrong way.

he threw a glance in the rear-view mirror and saw the smaller facing outside, eyes studying the stars scattered on the night sky. he wondered what was in that wicked mind. did the silence bother him as much as it did jaehyun or did he genuinely relish pushing his buttons?

“quit staring. i don’t want to be the reason for anyone’s death,” the smaller croaked, without looking away. his voice seemed to indicate that he was amused, as evidenced by the slight smirk carved on his pretty face.

the smaller did not realize that he already was. jaehyun had died many times, reliving the same death again and again, and never getting used to the pain it brought. 

“donghyuck is like a brother i never had. i’m not using him to get back at you,” taeyong quietly confessed, breaking his train of thought, with a voice as monotonous as his poker face.

“i never asked for an explanation.”

“i just can’t stand the thought of you thinking i’m desperate enough to do that.” their eyes met in the rear-view mirror for a few seconds until jaehyun broke the contact.

“what do you want from me, taeyong?” why did he even asked that question? what did he expect to hear?

“i don’t... know. my heart tells me to tell you to stay,” the smaller’s brows furrowed. he could not seem to sort out his own feelings.

“you wouldn’t want me near if the spirits weren’t bothering you,” he explained while his eyes kept darting on donghyuck’s face a few times, praying that the younger was not roused by the back-and-forth whispering. thankfully he slept like a rock.

taeyong fell silent. his eyes were back on the view outside and jaehyun could see wheels turning in his head. it was in his intention not to let taeyong understand what was going on. soon, he would leave again, and the spirits might too once they lose interest. perhaps, he was just being selfish for not letting the goblin’s bride do what he was supposed to out of grudge, but it did not matter, because jaehyun would always be on the losing end.

“the spirits…what are they? why would they ever talk to me?”

taeyong may not be able to hear now that he was in the smaller’s vicinity, but the spirits were cackling maniacally around them, _oh what a curious little mortal, he didn’t know, goblin, tell him, tell him how his sword penetrated through your chest as he looked straight into your eyes, tell him,_ until he dispelled them with just a wave of the hand.

“they are what remains of lost souls, wandering around without purpose. they latch on anyone for some sick entertainment, to feel something again, like a living human would,” he replied, carefully leaving out an important piece of information; the spirits were as hungry as wolves. the only thing that kept the smaller safe was his elevated status, providing him protection from not only the goblin himself, but from the god of fate as well.

once again, dead air surrounded them. jaehyun felt time stretch for hours, although in reality the moment only lasted only for minutes until taeyong opened his mouth again.

“why did you choose me?”

everyone’s life was touched by the almighty at least once. just when they drifted away, he would nudge them back into the right direction. perhaps daeryung was not supposed to kill him, perhaps they were meant to be on the same side, fighting for the same course, but alas daeryung made his choice. it was funny how the curse forced them to reunite when jaehyun desired the opposite.

“i didn’t.”

he drove through the guard post after identifying himself as a resident’s relative and parked near the lobby. he woke his nephew up and sighed affectionately when the younger groaned with annoyance for being stirred at such an ungodly hour.

“ugh, why did you wake me up? i was in the middle of the best dream ever,” moaned donghyuck the professional complainer as he rubbed his eyes.

“come hyuck, let’s get inside before it gets too cold,” taeyong said and pat the younger’s back repeatedly to freshen him up. the loud thwack echoed across the empty parking lot like it was a normal occurrence between them.

“goodbye, uncle. let’s go somewhere again before you leave for home. i’m glad you and taeyong hyung can become friends because you, of all people, need some-“

“okay, kid, that’s enough. go get some rest,” jaehyun uttered as he put his arms around the younger in the tightest embrace his tired self could give before patting his back in a way of saying, _go before i get too weepy_. donghyuck gave a lopsided smile and made his way into the building, followed by taeyong who felt so out of place.

before the smaller could disappeared through the automatic door, he grabbed on his wrist. he must have imagined the jumping pulse against his fingers, but the incessant thud was too prominent to be mistaken as just that. taeyong turned around after a moment that felt like a lifetime - after gathering himself before facing the person who had the power to make him feel desired and unwanted simultaneously.

he had so many things to say, sentences prepared and memorized but the moment he laid eyes on that face again, it was all gone. he had seen so many beautiful souls that ever graced the earth, yet no one was as divine as the one before him. he had fallen in and out of love with some of them too, yet no other love could ruin and rebuild him like his did. but even if that feeling was still there, in the deepest corner of his heart, it was doomed to be caged there forever.

“once you left, they’re gonna come back,” the smaller stated as he stared at the hand around his wrist wistfully.

jaehyun knew. he also knew that by claiming his fated soulmate, the spirits could never reach him any longer, but he had decided that it was impossible on his part. he could not move against the history written between them.

he pulled him close and enveloped the taeyong’s body with his own, letting his essence and the temporary protection that came with it wrapped around the smaller like a warm, cosy blanket. his mind never failed to recognize how their figures were made to mould around each other as the smaller tucked his head in the junction between his neck and shoulder. this was familiar and it made his heart soar as much as it pained him.

the smaller smelled like iris imbued with musk and the scent was inadvertently tattooed in back of his mind, overwriting one of the thousands of memories he had. he registered the way taeyong unconsciously loosened up in his arms, letting every part of their bodies to touch and the warmth seeping into his core frightened him more than anything.

he let go slowly and taeyong did too, with a jerk in his limbs as if he was surprised by what he had done, but he did not step away even after his arms were no longer around jaehyun’s torso. it was not him but the soul within reacting to his touches. but then again, daeryung’s heart was never his in the first place so it might be the goblin’s curse forcing the smaller to feel what he was not supposed to.

deep inside, the desire for more grew, like tendrils creeping up his veins, to take every single thing that the smaller could offer but he did not want to make the same mistake twice.

absentmindedly, his fingers moved to tuck the loose piece of hair to the side of his temple, giving him a clear view of the smaller’s face. he did not what he was doing and why was he going against himself. his mind and body seemed to disagree in so many levels when it came to the smaller.

“that will last you for a good week.”

taeyong hummed and nodded simultaneously. his eyes were fixed on his shoes as if he was afraid of what he would see once he lifted his gaze. how could a person have so many facets? one second, he was bold and another he was demure. a few hours ago, he called him out of his bullshit, and now he was trusting jaehyun with his own sanity.

“once it wears off, how can i find you?”

“you’ll find a way.”

taeyong played with the lighter in his pocket, twirling it around as an idea ran in his mind. they never knew that was the moment their fates began to realign.

* * *

work was a major headache. it did not matter how high jaehyun was up in the hierarchy, it still was a pain in the ass. the meeting was proof for it. the board of directors were no different than the ministers in his late father’s court. the head of asia division was not dead, yet his position was being coveted by many. they aired his dirty laundry as if they had none, to influence his decision making.

it was no help that his appearance did not age. they looked down upon him as if he was still wet behind his ears and easily manipulated into their wicked schemes. he could not blame them because technically, in the eyes of the world, he was green compared to the board members with over thirty years of experience in the corporate ladder. if only they knew the truth about the founder and his successors’ identities, the reality that they knew of would derail off its axis.

jaehyun was never directly involved in the management until donghyuck’s grandfather passed away ten years ago. with donghyuck’s mother, soojung gone, he was forced to sit in the chair although he was more comfortable supervising the late president from over his shoulder. no one could imagine such a firm, charismatic man was obeying the commands of his supposedly eldest child all this time. what a bizarre family, they would say.

alas, the temporary transition of power was made peacefully. that was what mattered most. he could go back to the states as soon as time allowed after his supervision was no longer needed.

right now, in the three-star michelin restaurant in gangnam, he was seen smiling and toasting to _a great future_ with the new acting head of asia division and his subordinates. it was a symbiosis between them all, they needed to gain his trust and him, theirs, to make this work. of course, the corporate world was gritty and dirty. despite his aversion to such tricks, a few were necessary. those who could not play the game, could not stay.

it was almost funny how he could not escape from this circle. almost. this time, no subject would die in his hands, no eye would be blinded, nobody would be enslaved.

“it truly is an honour to finally meet you in person, sir,” seo jeongin, the representative uttered with eyes full of respect. the man was in his early forties, smaller than average with a gentle face. he looked more like a loving father than an ambitious man. but looks could be deceiving. he bore the brunt of an enemy’s deception before.

“and i, you, mr seo. i believe that the asia division is in good hands. i know i won’t be disappointed,” he replied amiably, wearing his business attitude like a knife on the old men’s guts. his polite words were laced with threats, promising dangerous ends if they chose to covet what was not theirs in the first place. any man could change in a blink of an eye, these men were no different.

they all laughed gleefully except for mr seo. he offered his cup as a sign of trust. jaehyun internally smirked at such a brave display, in contrast to his subordinates who had always put themselves in pedestals up high. he proceeded to pour the alcohol slowly, noting the sudden tension pressing on them.

when mr seo’s hands were about to reach the cup, jaehyun stopped him.

“let me, i’m the youngest after all,” he uttered amiably and downed it in one shot. he was impressed by the old man and now he wanted to trust him just the same (or that was how he wanted to make it look like). he could not get drunk anyway, so what could go wrong with a few more shots?

however, his eyes caught the sight of a redhead side by side with an elderly jaehyun sorely recognized as the chairman of leesung financial group, tailed by a couple and their son. they sat face to face, in a typical setting of a friendly dinner between two upper-crust families, a few cubicles away from his. a grey armani suit hugged the smaller’s figure and his silken hair slicked back, making him look all put together, unlike the unrestrained, effervescent taeyong that he had seen.

jaehyun could not help the bitterness from poisoning his mood. the air around him darkened despite his effort to abate it. but he smiled. oh, he had that dangerous smile that quickened the pace of mortals’ heartbeats - either in a cold sweat or in arousal - whenever he tried holding back his anger. what was he so frustrated about? he wanted nothing to do with the goblin’s bride in the first place.

the unknowing men in his table were confused but ended up offering their cups, following mr seo’s steps. they emptied the alcohol into their stomach simultaneously and hissed at the burning sensation in their cores. they talked about the company, the local market and other monotonous stuff that he listened with only one ear. some of them started bragging about his son’s academic achievement – he had no idea how they got to this part of the conversation – but his eyes were fixed on the back of someone’s head. a certain someone who kept rubbing his palms on his knees with his spine ramrod straight. oh, he was a bundle of nerves.

jaehyun did not want to pay any attention to the smaller but his mind cannot help from zeroing in a few details obsessively. the absence of his ear piercing, the occasional lip bites and fingers drumming on his thighs. such clean exterior softened his entire appearance, making him look delicate and desirable. he did not need any personal attachment to admit that the smaller was indeed mesmerizing.

he also found amusement in the barely concealed surprise on his father and the family of three’s faces when taeyong abruptly excused himself to the gents. their eyes accidentally met for a second as the smaller sped to the end of the hall and he hated that he noticed the smaller slowed down as if asking him to follow. 

half of his mind wanted to leave the smaller in his miserable state. he wanted to stay away, remember? but as he observed that lonely figure making his way to the secluded area, he could not sit still. he should not get worried over the smaller’s emotional well-being, but the thought was intrusive. so, he too, excused himself after a good three minutes of restlessness had passed.

as soon as he pushed the door open, an ugly retching sound reached his ears from the farthest cubicle and he rushed to see taeyong hunching over the white porcelain toilet bowl. concern filled every corner of his mind. ignoring the vomitus and acidic smell, he came forward to rub the smaller’s back as he hurled until there was no more.

the smaller trembled but stayed unmoving. neither did he acknowledge his presence. he was still on his knees, eyes closed, trying to catch his breath. jaehyun pressed on the flush button on the wall and helped the smaller up to the marble counter by the sink. the smaller remained unresponsive as he locked the main door. he had this far-away look in his eyes until the feeling of something cold touched his mouth and he raised his gaze to meet jaehyun’s distressed ones.

jaehyun removed the piece of cloth to put his right hand on taeyong’s cheek, his thumb absentmindedly caressing the trail of dried tears on his skin - probably shed when he was emptying his stomach into the toilet bowl.

“are you okay?” he quietly asked, afraid to disturb the peaceful silence in the room. then he hissed regretfully, muttering something along the lines, _of course he isn’t_ and _stupid question._

a hint of a smile appeared at the corner of the smaller’s lips, brightening the overall mood by a little, as he put his hands around jaehyun’s wrist to take the taller’s hand away from his face. jaehyun initially thought the smaller wanted space to breathe until he held it with both of his hands, palpating each and every knobby joint as a mean of distraction.

he had almost forgotten the question he asked when the smaller nodded.

“took you long enough,” croaked the smaller as he eyes trained on their fingers.

“well, you took too long to pee,” he deadpanned and the little laugh he got from the smaller could not be compared to anything. a corner of his own lips lifted unintentionally.

but taeyong said nothing more and jaehyun wanted him too. he was curious of what made the smaller so perturbed.

“you in suits? i could not even begin to imagine that,” he spoke as he noted the first three buttons unbuttoned, exposing the right amount skin and clavicles. from the corner of his eyes, he saw the only discarded blazer on the coat rack that could only belong to the mortal before him.

“do i look pretty in it?”

that attitude was back and he was too drunk in relief to stop himself from saying, “you do.”

it surprised the smaller as it did him. his fingers paused and eyes widened a fraction, but the request he made was far beyond belief.

“take me home,” the smaller asked in distress.

jaehyun was understandably flabbergasted. taking him home was not a part of his plan tonight. he should have told him to go back to that little family meeting and put his best face forward but he did not have the heart. he could even stand the thought of leaving the smaller like this.

seeing the internal conflict within the taller, taeyong spoke again, this time softer, “take me away. it doesn’t have to be your home. anywhere is fine as long as away from here.”

what happened to taeyong? why was he ready to follow someone he barely knew to run away from his own father?

“please.”

he could not deny those hopeful eyes. he pulled the smaller’s hand and he proceeded to get down as quickly as he could manage, slightly bumped into jaehyun’s shoulder as he stumbled on his feet. jaehyun unlocked the door, opened it and both of them disappeared to the other side.

the blazer was left hanging on the rack, forgotten. the phone in the inner pocket rang multiples time was left unanswered.

* * *

_someone was following him. he could sense it. the other was as quiet as a mouse but even the animal made a sound once in a while. he walked faster as he tried to lose him in the crowd of the night market. the loud argument between two shopkeepers at the corner of the street could be his tool in shaking this person off his radar._

_this person was a male, probably in the prime age of seventeen or eighteen, at least was a young master from a respectable family judging by his appearance. his hanbok was made from the finest silk, dipped in the colour of an afternoon sky. no matter his identity, he was either stupid or too brave for his own good. no one dared challenge lee daeryung, the general’s son and right-hand man._

_his face had been more of a burden than a heavenly gift. as his aged, his features sharpened, and his beauty became the talk of the town. many noble families asked for his hands in union with their sons – coupled with his family’s high status in the hierarchy, they could not help but be greedy. but he was more than his face or his first name. he was a human being, with feelings and mentality._

_those families lived in luxury, corruption deeply rooted in their veins while the ones in the village were left suffering in poverty and illness. they did not care for the people, they only cared for themselves and what they were going to have for dinner. he would rather slit his own throat than spread his legs and bear their children._

_it took them a young master with a broken finger to finally stop bothering him with such a ridiculous proposal. he had no idea how he escaped punishment, his father must have pulled a few strings and threatened a few people to keep their mouth shut. he could not care less. in his book, the ending justified the mean and that pathetic man deserved it._

_this man probably would end up in the same way, he thought as he took a hard turn after passing the newly formed crowd. this street in this particular part of town was dark and quiet. no lamp lit and no human noises heard. the cicadas’ song was the only sound that accompanied the bright full moon hanging above._

_then, he heard the familiar scuttle from behind and immediately hid behind a nearby house. he bid his time, estimating the exact moment to jump out and slash the enemy’s throat. he could hide the body or dump it from off a cliff later to dispose of the evidence._

_when the sound was near, he immediately pointed his sword to the man’s throat. the blade was in contact with his adam’s apple, leaving a bloody streak on the skin but he was mostly unharmed. the gat was obscuring most his face and the minimal lighting did not help him in recognizing this face._

_“who are you? why are you following me?” he spat but the man was not intimidated. impatient, he repeated the question as he tightened the grip on the hilt, so ready to take him down in one swipe._

_daeryung was sharp, but this man was quicker than he thought. he wondered if his father would shake his shoulder, screaming how he was still lacking if he saw the man swiftly took a step back and clashed daeryung’s sword with his own in a blink of an eye._

_they parried in the dark, with only moonlight reflected on the blades as a guide. when daeryung attacked, he defended but he never counter-attacked. it went on and on until it frustrated him to the core, causing him to step up the game and landed a kick on his abdomen. the man grunted as his back met the brick wall but that too was not enough to make him strike._

_so, daeryung made the move. once again, he pointed the end of his blade against the man’s adam’s apple. he dragged it upwards little by little to uncover his face. what he saw was a face he had never seen among the nobilities. this meant only one thing. his blood ran cold._

_he could have been punished to death for laying his eyes on a royal’s face._

_so, he removed the weapon from off his neck and kneeled. his eyes were directed to the ground between them._

_“i have heard a lot about you. both good and bad. i don’t think i have seen anyone as impressive as you are.”_

_daeryung was rendered speechless. should he asked for forgiveness or thank him for his generosity?_

_“an invitation to the palace will come to your house. i hope you'll accept it.”_


	4. the feeling resurfaces, its burning

the goblin did not need much sleep. he could not get drunk. he could not get sick. he could not die even if someone ripped his heart out of his chest. but he did not realize how harrowingly empty life was until now.

he was sitting on the eames lounge chair, looking out to the city of lights through the full-height glass window. autumn would soon be gone, replaced by icy winter. the trees were mostly bald – no more golden leaves on the branches - and rain often came down, painting a sombre but beautiful picture in his eyes. the people were still walking around and about despite the rain, putting on a thick coat and an umbrella on top of their heads. such is life, it went on no matter the weather.

a rustling sound caught his attention and he shifted his eyes to the figure buried underneath the thick duvet in his bed. the sight warmed his heart, making him feel things he would rather not, as the smaller once again overwrote the black-and-white memories with colourful ones. the person in question was unaware of the internal conflict his pathetic self was having.

the smaller had fallen asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow, uncaring about the suit he ended up crumpling in his slumber. it looked uncomfortable, but jaehyun did not dare lay a finger on him. his self-control was like stretch rubber band tonight, waiting to snap and break any time. that was a risk he did not want to take.

taeyong was shivering despite the functioning heater. the smaller lied in a fetal position to gather more heat in his middle, making him look even smaller. sometimes a breathy sigh escaped from his lips as if he was in discomfort. it probably meant nothing, the smaller could be talking in his sleep or just having a bad dream, but it bothered him a lot.

so, cautiously he stepped closer to the bed, saw the smaller’s whole body trembling. he immediately put the dorsum of his hand on the smaller’s forehead and the heat seeping out of the skin he touched had his suspicion confirmed. he had a fever, most probably be needing some paracetamol but the house had nothing of the sort.

calling donghyuck all the way from his campus was not an option. it was better if this thing between taeyong and him was kept a secret. meanwhile, his assistant was probably in dreamland at this hour and he was not cruel enough to wake her up from her beauty sleep, especially after such a tiring day. he might as well put these two legs to work and walk all the way to the pharmacy two blocks away. he hated getting soaked but taeyong needed it to get better.

he put on the thickest coat he brought and cursed silently when he realized that he had no umbrella. he could not simply apparate into a public facility. people would notice that he appeared out of nowhere and cause a major headache. he was going to have to walk outside unprotected. it was this moment he decided that he absolutely had enough with rain.

despite all of his complaints, he managed to get the antipyrex and a bowl of hot soup for takeaway from a restaurant that still opened. the smaller needed to have something before taking the pills. as he reached the lobby of his condominium, his clothes were dripping, killing whatever left of the good mood he had. he apparated straight through the emergency door near the elevator. cctv be damned.

taeyong was still asleep by the time he arrived. the dinner the smaller had with the family must have shaken him terribly so to get him sick. the nagging at the back of his mind supplied that it probably had something to do with an arranged marriage – if that thing was still a common practice in this era - and his mood turned uglier.

 _the goblin’s bride belongs with no one else_ , the spirits whispered in his ear, egging him on. taeyong did belong with him, but he did not want this, did he? so why was there a flame licking every corner of his heart, screaming possessiveness towards the mortal? he just could not make up his mind, kept going back and forth between wanting and hating.

after having a warm shower – because he did not like the grime that gets stuck to his hair – he reheated the soup and brought it to the bedside table. the shivering had tone down by a little, those lips no longer trembled in cold and jaehyun felt for his temperature once again, noting the fever was still there.

as soon as their skins were in contact, taeyong stirred and his eyes opened, fixing his blurry gaze on jaehyun’s face as if he could not recognize him. but he paid the smaller no mind and reached for the soup as he planted himself by the smaller’s torso.

he heard the soft whisper coming from the smaller’s mouth, “your royal highness.”

he was rooted to the spot. the smaller pronounced it exactly like how daeryung used to and his heart shattered to the floor. he had not heard that name for many, many years and the intimacy was rubbing salt into his wound. the general’s son took his crown and made it his own. how cruel the fate was to evoke images of the tragedy when he only had started to erase them.

but half of his mind said that it was probably a just fever dream, so he acted like he did not hear it.

“hey,” he softly called the smaller, “drink this soup and take the paracetamol,” as he carefully handed the bowl but taeyong shook his head, then pointed to his throat, signalling a sore throat killing the little appetite he had. but that would not do. his body needed nutrition to recover.

he brought a spoonful of the thick broth to the smaller’s mouth, silently begging him to just swallow and get it over with. he thanked the almighty when the smaller finally did albeit reluctantly. however, he only managed to finish a quarter before weakly pushing his hand away. jaehyun did not know how he got into this situation, playing house with taeyong like a caring husband that he would never be. it was fortunate that the smaller was more on the agreeable side compared to donghyuck who turned into a completely annoying brat whenever illness strikes.

there was a comfortable silence between them after the smaller had done taking the medication. he laid down, pulling the duvet all over his body up to the chin. his eyes were blinking slowly with fatigue, but he seemed to be thinking, as he fixed his eyes on jaehyun.

“you’re a kind man, sir. he was so lucky to have met you first.”

“pardon?”

“i saw you again, in here,” he pointed to his head, probably signalling a dream he just had, “you looked at him as if he hanged the moon and the stars.”

the smaller swallowed painfully and jaehyun had half the mind to stop him from saying any more because he could not bear it. he did not need the reminder.

“it was no surprise that he too, was in love with you,” the smaller spoke before surrendering to the exhaustion weighing down on his bones.

but that was a complete lie. lee daeryung was incapable of loving anyone but himself. there was not an ounce of love whenever they touched. there was not a glimpse of regret too when he saw jaehyun bled on the floor. a fever dream was nothing compared to what he went through.

* * *

taeyong was off the radar ever since he left.

jaehyun was taking his nap on the couch, unwilling to wait in boredom for the sun to come out, thinking that the smaller would still be there when he woke up. but he was gone, as silent as a ghost. the bed was tidily made, pillow fluffed and dishes washed, leaving almost no trace of his temporary existence. he had no idea how the smaller did all of those without accidentally waking him up.

the only thing left was his iris-musk scent that intermingled with his own smoky lavender one in the sheets.

he did not take it too well at first, feeling insulted over such a rude gesture after staying up all night nursing him. but as days went by, he made himself believe that it was for the best. besides, he should not go search for a man he wanted to stay away from.

(he was a little brokenhearted but let it be his secret to tell.)

tonight was his last night in the country and he wanted to spend it with his beloved donghyuck.

(the last time he saw taeyong still burned in the back of his mind, but he refused to dwell on it.)

“this is delicious!” praised his nephew at the first bite of the main course. his cheeks swelled as he helped himself with the meal.

jaehyun took pride of his culinary skill and it helped that donghyuck loved his cooking more than anyone else’s. it was his first attempt in making grilled steak with ratatouille and saffron rice, which were pretty easy to make but provided complete nutrition for the growing teen. he was a bit particular when it comes to a healthy diet.

“it has been ages since you last cooked, uncle. i almost replace you with this ahjumma who makes mean bulgogi.”

“how’s school? any plan on giving up yet?” he teased while ruffling the younger’s hair.

the younger pulled a face as he brushed his hair back into place, saying, “it’s only the first semester. ask me again when the final year comes. all those seniors are looking more and more pitiful each day.”

jaehyun remembered when he enrolled in a university, just to have a taste of modern education and social life. it was a lot harder ten years ago, no internet for easy references or online course for those who had trouble travelling. thick textbooks were his only salvation, he slept and ate with them. the final year project was a major pain in his ass. but no matter how old he actually was, the world around him evolved so he too must follow the flow. he never regretted it.

“whatever they are facing, it soon shall pass,” he uttered encouragingly, reminding his nephew to keep holding on through hardships he never knew would come.

“i know. i won’t give up, scout’s honour,” donghyuck eagerly said as he held up three fingers. then, he seemed a little preoccupied as he poked the steak repeatedly. jaehyun wondered what was in that brain of his nephew’s but before he could ask, the younger spilt it first.

“i wish i could bring taeyong hyung along, he’s going to love this.” that cheeky smirk on the younger’s face could not be mistaken as anything else.

“hyuck, please. stop doing that.”

“stop doing what?”

“that. mentioning his name out of nowhere.”

“uncle, are you blushing? oh my god, i think the world is going to end soon.”

“okay, you win. why am i even arguing with you? bring him home next time,” he finally surrendered to his nephew’s teasing. he wondered what the younger would say if he knew what happened a few days prior.

but, the mood went down all of a sudden as he utter those words. donghyuck dolefully put his cutlery down, making him nervous for some reason.

“well, too bad because he dropped out a couple of days ago. we met for the last time for goodbye and lost contact after that. he probably changed his number because i can’t reach him anymore.”

the news struck him dumb. such a drastic change of behaviour could be alarming. he was the heir of leesung financial group, one of the biggest banking companies in the continent, his fuck-ups would deliver a major blow to his father’s reputation and consequently, the company’s performance. seeing that it did not make the headline only proved of his father’s discreet involvement with the local media.

but most importantly, what on earth actually happened to him?

“oh, what a lovely family. i almost got jealous.”

as soon as the sound of that recognizable lilt reached his eardrum, he caught the sight of the butterfly flapping its wings as it landed on donghyuck’s water goblet. the person sitting before him straightened his back, making his shoulders seemed wider and torso taller. the air around him was ironically warm despite the posture.

the deity proceeded to take a bite of the steak and smiled brightly, “tasty.”

“you could have warned me. we are in the middle of a dinner.”

“yes, i should.”

“but you didn’t.”

“no, i didn’t.”

jaehyun was dumbfounded. the god of fate would never appear for a casual talk, would he not?

“what happened to him?” he asked. it went without saying who the person was.

“some issues,” the deity answered before he put another slice into his mouth, “he’s doing something he should’ve done long ago.”

“what issues? what should have been done?”

the corner’s of not-donghyuck’s lips lifted, akin to the smiles his nephew had while teasing him. but this version was much calmer as if he already anticipated this event coming.

“i thought you didn’t care.” those round eyes were filled with mirth.

“oh, not you too!”

a little chuckle escaped from not-donghyuck’s mouth, rendering him stunned. who would have thought the deity could actually laugh? the sound eased the little tension between them and jaehyun thought that if this lee minhyung was a mortal, he would have been donghyuck’s best friend.

“mortals have issues and he is going through some right now. i see you’ve made some progress.”

“don’t be too happy, though. i haven’t forgiven him yet.”

the god of fate fixed his eyes on him, as if searching for the truth behind those words. a moment of silence stretched, killing all the amusement they were both having just now. jaehyun had no idea how to behave around the deity sometimes, the brief exchanges between them always shifted from hostile to friendly and back again, like a pendulum. but he was damn sure that the god of fate was protective of the goblin’s bride.

“you will. you’re already starting to,” the deity uttered with no trace of doubt lingering in his eyes.

jaehyun chose to disagree, but then again, he did not even know where they stood in each other’s lives. they had an odd but quick start. they knew close to nothing about each other, but he had taken taeyong home and took care of him. he began to care for this version of him, but it was not equivalent to forgiving the smaller’s past self.

“if i do forgive him one fine day,” he stressed on the first word, “will there be a happy ending for both of us?”

the god of fate appeared pensive before he answered, “it depends on what we define as a happy ending. to answer your question, yes, both of you will.”

something bloomed inside jaehyun’s heart. it felt like hope.

“but before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger.”

* * *

_the invitation to the palace was in fact, an official order. his royal highness crown prince jeongseong wished to have a friendly duel with him the day after tomorrow. he would have to stay for 3 nights in a guest quarter near the crown prince residence, specially reserved for the occasion. the royal servants would attend to his daily living during his stay._

_as soon as the royal guards stepped out of the gates of lee’s residence, the general pat his back in sheer approval. he looked up at his father’s face in curiosity. it was indeed an achievement for a noble to get an official invitation into the palace, but everyone knew it was a battlefield inside. they did whatever to have the upper hand._

_“his royal highness has taken a liking on you. its time i let you into the circle,” the elder said as he smiled at him. daeryung was heady from the praise. he was not to be blamed, the elder was never a generous man when it comes to that._

_two days later, he was brought into the palace and there he was, sitting alone in the pavilion. two royal servants lined up not too far from him, but not near enough to eavesdrop. the crown prince was nowhere in sight since he had an impromptu audience with the royal queen consort in her residence. perhaps, he actually chickened out and used her as an excuse. at least he had a mother. daeryung did not._

_his mind wandered to the promise his father made that day. he said something about a circle. daeryung had no idea what precisely it meant but the way it rolled off his father’s tongue sounded dangerous, and he shivered involuntarily. he knew there was something brewing in the background._

_the house had received a fixed number of guests every once in a while, and they would have a private discussion in the dining hall with the doors and windows shut tight. two of his elder brothers were among them but they never spoke about it outside of the meeting. now that his father had spoken about the existence of it, he felt the excitement throbbed in his chest._

_then, a velvety voice disrupted his train of thought._

_“it seems like i have kept you waiting.”_

_he got up and bowed to the royal. his eyes were kept on the ground._

_“your royal highness. you don’t need to be regretful. duty always comes first before anything else,” he spoke calmly with the words he rehearsed hundreds of times internally. in the back of his mind was his father’s voice reminding him to get the crown prince on his side and win him over. he did not have to lift his face to know that the royal was pleased._

_“look at me,” the crown prince ordered before his royal guard warned him._

_“i can’t talk to someone if he has to look down all the time, seonho,” the royal said to the man standing behind him._

_when his eyes landed on the royal’s face, he was entranced by the poetic beauty. daeryung had seen a glimpse of it that night but now under the bright daylight, he shined. his skin was as if carved from alabaster, with two deep crevices on his cheeks. his almond eyes twinkled with innocence. his lips were stretched in a form of a polite smile. there was no amount of arrogance in his bearing, in contrast to what he had initially expected._

_it was indeed a privilege to see his face as the king had decreed to keep the crown prince’s appearance a confidential matter to protect the only child he had. no one outside of the palace knew what he looked like. there was even a rumour flying that the crown prince was actually a disabled person._

_but the rumour was the least harmful among many. what a pity, the crown prince was too naïve for his own good. he did not recognize the wolf he had invited into his safe sanctuary. daeryung had not decided what kind of wolf he would become but one thing for sure, he never planned to be tamed._

_“come with me, the archery field is ready.”_

_the royal walked out of the pavilion, flanked by his guard and the endless numbers of servants. he did not miss the glare of contempt, as sharp as his blade, given by the guard. nevermind, soon the man would be gone._


	5. discontinued

hi, long time no see.

im not even sure if anyone was ever interested in this story as I was in the beginning.

this was my first after so long due to writer's block and deteriorating mental health.

writing it at first was fun and I posted it without any intention of garnering anyone's attention but it started to transform into obsession, which I hate as I kept checking on kudos and view count everyday like a fool. this habit stressed me out and I found that the interest in continueing diminished as time went by.

im sorry but I have to discontinue. i don't know when will I be back, its a relief that nobody's waiting anyway lol

thank you for the time, attention, kudos and subscription. they meant a lot to me. thank you, thank you, thank you. words cant explain how happy i was.

sincerely yours,

imetyouinthesummer

ps. I'll delete this fic a week from now, just so that you are able get this notification. 


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